An excerpt from the beginning of a frank talk for young people - things their parents and friends won't tell them!

First, I want you to know that I know something about who you are. As have young people since the dawn of time, you, the current crop, have learned the power of rebellion against your parents’ world. That actually happened first at about age two when you learned the word, "no." Since then you have discovered the delicious joy of rebelling against authority and doing forbidden things. These could be as innocent as staying out past a curfew or disobeying a parent or other authority figure. They could also be as dangerous as, sex, drugs, alcohol, and gang or other criminal activities. To some degree, nearly all teens despise moral restraints and like to blow off steam generally. This probably starts with the onset of puberty when new hormones course through their veins. For many young people, these hormones overwhelm the brain resulting in judgements frequently being made by these juices, certainly not by a logical thought process. This is perfectly normal and has been around for a very long time. Cicero, along with many other decried the "degenerate activities of the younger generation of youth."

So your departures from sanity are nothing new in spite of what you may think. It’s ancient -- at least as old as man’s ancestry. Believe it or not, I went through similar experiences when I was your age, as does everyone including your parents.

For that reason this is not a lecture on how to behave. You wouldn’t pay attention if it was. Also, I will not tell you what to do. Your parents, teachers and friends do enough of that already. Rather I would tell you something of the world you live in: ideas, problems, realities, and people you will have to deal with in one way or another. Your success in life will depend on how you deal with these problems. This hold true no matter what path you choose or that befalls you.

One of my favorite authors, Talbot Munday, wrote the following: "Choose, and take the consequences. Choose to command, and learn the pain of the barbed treachery of envy. Choose to obey, and learn how soon obedience begets contempt. Choose the philosopher’s life, and learn the famished waste of thought that, like a barren woman, lusts unpregnant. Choose . . . or become the victim of others’ choosing."

In short, you will choose or let others choose for you. You will decide or not and not to decide is to turn your decisions, your life over to someone else. I don’t know about you, but I learned early on that I didn’t want others to decide for me. Not my parents, not my teachers, not my family, and certainly not my acquaintances. I deliberately left out friends because at this age you have very few if any real friends. You haven’t had the time to develop real friendships except for rare instances. To illustrate, I want you to think how many of those you once thought of as friends have betrayed you, or at least have hurt or deserted you? If you do have any true friends, treasure them for true friends are indeed rare.

Another quote from Talbot Munday, "When a number of men, for a number of different reasons, counsel me to turn aside from danger, I have usually found it wise to recognize the danger, but do the opposite of what they urge. Although they likely know it not, their counsel is directed either by their own necessity or by their love of comfort, good repute and profit." When someone tells or asks you to do something, carefully examine the consequences and consider, what’s in it for them.

Now for some facts you really don’t want to hear: Except for an extremely tiny fraction of the people, your family and friends, the world could care less whether you even exist. Your death, even if publicly spectacular, would not be mourned or even noticed by the vast majority It would be a one liner in the local paper and go unmentioned on the electronic media except as a statistic. Except for your family, close friends, and those involved in your death - no one would care. And those few who did notice would probably forget in a day or two and never think of you again. If you were a John Ritter, John Kennedy or Sargent York, more people would remember you for a while, but would they care? Then, of course, there was George Washington, Henry the eighth, Ghengis Khan, Suliman the magnificent, Adolph Hitler and countless others who are remembered historically, but does anyone really care about them? Even the first Pharaohs of Egypt were long forgotten and only rediscovered recently. I know no one cares about them, personally I mean. That was how long ago - five thousand years? How many of you think you will be remembered in five thousand years? How about five hundred? Fifty? I think you get my message. Hard as it may seem to admit, you are not the center of the universe.

I mentioned one name I doubt anyone here remembers, Sargent York. Have any of you heard of him before? How about Charlie One Eagle? Both were war heroes, one in World War I, the other in the Civil War. In their time they were great national heroes and everyone knew their names and about their exploits. Fame can indeed be very fleeting.

Does this mean you are an unimportant nothing? Of course not. You are indeed the center of your own personal universe and the only one who can control the destiny of that universe. You are the one who now makes the decisions that will determine that destiny. Your decisions will determine the happiness and success of your life. True, there are circumstances, people and incidents that could dramatically alter your life and are completely beyond your control. An accident, an illness, a war on any scale, a birth defect or inherited condition, a malignant person or even an errant friend, could conceivably bring about a devastating consequence, even your death, but that doesn’t mean you have to accept the consequences without avoidance or response.

Accidents can be prevented. Did you realize that from age fifteen until somewhere after twenty-eight the most likely cause of death of an American is an auto accident? In some locations its not an auto, but a gun most likely to end a life. While not all, but many of these deaths can be prevented by your own efforts. How many idiot, show-off or macho drivers are there in this group. I don’t want to know, but think about it. I see those I consider to be idiots on almost a daily basis around here. How many of you have seen an unhelmeted motorcyclist in the last few days? Do you know the average life expectance of a motorcycle driver or rider who doesn’t wear a helmet? When I was sixteen it was pointed out to me just after one of my friends plastered himself against the side of a truck that ran a red light. Riding near him, I took a fall but was relatively uninjured. My father’s insurance agent told me my life expectancy on a motorcycle without a helmet - no one wore a helmet then - was only three years. Within a year of my immediate sale of my share of the bike I had been riding, three boys from my high school died in motorcycle accidents out of a school population of about three thousand. Those are not particularly good odds of survival and a terrible price to pay for macho daring-do. If my data are correct, that’s about the same as today. Wearing a helmet increases ones life expectancy to about fifteen years, still not really very good odds, but certainly better. Testosterone driven macho ego and peer pressure can extract a horrible price.

I’m not lecturing you against riding a motorcycle. I just want you to be informed about the possibilities, options and conceivable consequences. It is up to you to decide - is the benefit worth the risk? Remember that phrase, "Is the benefit worth the risk." That is a test you should thoughtfully apply to everything you ever do in life. Unconsciously, but instinctively, we all do that every time we make a decision to act or not to act. It’s called the survival instinct and is heavily loaded in our genetic code. One thing about genetic code, it doesn’t care whether you as an individual survive. It is only coded to maximize the survival of itself for another generation. Think about that. All of life is programmed, by our creator I might add, programmed to ensure the survival of that program or code in the next generation.

OK! Now I brought up our creator. Yes, I am a Christian who believes in God. I am also a scientist and engineer who finds no conflict between science and religion. As should each of you, I have developed my own belief structure based on all I have learned in my life. This is a constantly evolving belief structure, strictly my own, Christian based and which I will discuss but not impose upon others. Your choice about faith is a decision I believe you should make of your own free will. Choose an existing form, use one created by others or by God, or create your own as you see fit to do. Whatever you choose, even be it atheism, please do not try to impose your beliefs on others or expect them to believe as you do. Respect for differing beliefs is one of the cornerstone freedoms of our nation, is dealt with specifically in our Constitution and is currently under attack by those who would impose their belief system on all of us. – – Excuse me while I now step down from my soap box.

Once more, welcome to the real world. Who you are, what you become, how you live your life, your choice of a mate, friends, your choice of career or careers - are all your decision for the most part. They are certainly dependent on your effort or lack of it. One wise man observed, "The easiest road to success is to have a serious handicap and learn to overcome it." Helen Keller is probably the best example I can remember, but she may be unknown to many of you. She was stricken blind and deaf as a baby and was carefully and lovingly changed from a wild, almost inhuman child into a famous writer, lecturer - an example of overcoming the most unimaginable physical handicaps. She was helped into the real world by a nurse who taught her to communicate. Her biography is a truly inspiring tale. There are numerous others who have overcome serious physical handicaps and become successful in many ways. Can any of you think of a more recent example? – – – –

I hate to tell you this, but you all have serious handicaps to overcome. Considering what I have said thus far, can anyone give me an answer? – – – –

CLICK here to return to Talks, Discussions and Books by Howard Johnson

To contact author, Howard Johnson Click Here!